Create the Life You Imagine ~ March 2019


Balancing the Lower Triangle

“What is Love? Love is the absence of judgment.”

~ Dalai Lama







As we enter our next power center, the fourth chakra, we are making our first connection to that higher operating system of the Soul Self. The fourth chakra is located in our chest and is associated with the element of air and the color green. It is directly tied to our breath, and like our breath, the energy of this power center is expansive, integrating and healing. The fourth chakra works with the energy of emotions. While the second chakra is the power center that processes emotional responses specifically tied to our relationship history with other people, the fourth chakra is the power center that carries more universal emotional experiences tied to living as a human being in a beautiful but messy world. It is the center where we experience wonder, joy, and awe, and it is where we process disappointment, loss and grief. It is the center where we touch the power of forgiveness and release the judgments we have held about ourselves and others around the suffering and trauma of life. It is the center where we escape the duality of the lower triangle and can hold the mystery of darkness and light together in a loving and healing embrace.


The fourth chakra is the meeting point between our lower triangle personality self and our upper triangle Soul Self. Its job is to help balance and integrate the lower triangle, and then to open the channel to the soul energy of the upper triangle. Let’s think about what happens in the lower heart center first. Remember that prior to hitting the heart center, the lower triangle is fully tied to the perspective of the small self operating in isolation inside the lower triangle. The lower triangle is where we initially plant all the small self stories about life and where we store all our wounds, regrets, disappointments, traumas, and limiting beliefs. It is also where we learn and perfect our fear-based, addictive, compulsive or numbing life patterns. The small self is busy operating from within this history and anxiously trying to make sure that nothing gets worse. The small self of the lower triangle constantly judges itself, other people and experiences as good or bad. The small self is completely fixated on the outer world and its focus is on avoiding pain and suffering and looking around the corner for the next threat to its identity. As Brené Brown says from her amazing research on shame, it is “that voice in my head that drives pretending, performing, pleasing and perfecting…[that] loves gold stars and craves acceptance and approval.” In the small self world of the lower triangle, any sense of contentment or satisfaction tends to be fleeting and short lived, because it presents a constant and changing stream of wants and needs and then experiences the resultant disappointment, irritation, frustration and anger at not being able to meet them.


The fourth chakra tends to open up in mid-life when we begin to recognize that our small self doesn’t have any real life-giving answers or strategies, or during times of crisis when the struggles and challenges of life overwhelm the small self and it instinctively reaches for help beyond itself. The task of the lower heart center of our fourth chakra is to awaken our need for wholeness and to use its healing power to integrate, calm and balance the lower triangle. Without this higher state of awareness or sense of larger presence, we are a prisoner of the lower triangle small self. The small self cannot be satisfied because it is not integrated. Our physical, emotional and mental processing centers aren’t connected and coordinated, and like the ball in a pin ball machine, the thinking of the small self bounces around between them creating highly reactive patterns and imbalances in our first, second and third chakra centers. The fourth chakra is the center where we can access that higher state of integrative awareness and use it to stabilize, redirect and balance the energy centers of the lower triangle.


The word healing implies wholeness, and only when we can fully integrate all of our parts and embody our Soul Self can we move into greater and greater states of wholeness. The lower heart center is where we begin to take all of our parts and join them together in integrity – in wholeness – because we begin to re-member who we are. Our heart center is where we can hold with love all the brokenness, woundedness, disappointment and struggle that comes from living in a difficult world. It is where we can bring together all of our parts without any judgment and recognize the unity within ourselves, with others and with All That Is. It’s where we can receive all the stories of our small self with compassion and care and let our Soul Self gently knit it all together into the wholeness of who we really are. Our Soul Self is always whole and ready to wrap our smaller parts inside of that wholeness. Our Soul Self will use every experience, every hardship, every disappointment or loss as a lesson in love for our own growth and evolution. This work begins when we are willing to surrender and accept the brokenness of the world, the frailty of the human body, the imperfections and imbalances in ourselves, the limitations and wounds of others, and present them to the heart for healing.