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Hold and Embrace

“Our goal is wholeness, not perfection.”

~ Carl Jung

In my last blog post, I encouraged us to begin the process of living as whole human beings by shifting our energy and awareness away from our lower triangle small self and into our heart center, where we could begin to access the freedom and possibilities of living in the higher operating system of our upper triangle Soul Self. From our heart center, we can turn and face the parts of ourselves that stand frightened, disappointed, suffering or sorrowful about the past experiences of life, or anxious and fearful about what life holds in store. Remember that our heart center is the doorway to our Soul, and our Soul is the doorway to Spirit, so it is from the power of the heart center that we connect with our Soul and begin the process of healing into wholeness. As I wrote last time, the path to our Soul runs through the heart and it begins with our willingness to take a deep breath from this powerful spiritual center as we turn and face our life histories and our coping patterns with all the love and compassion we can muster.

It is the nature of our lower triangle small self to become mired under by the painful experiences of our past and preoccupied with its efforts to avoid further struggle or suffering in the future. The small self uses a large percentage of our life energy repressing, depressing or avoiding the pain of our past and anxiously imagining or scanning for the pain or difficulties we might face in the future. This constant activity by our small self is like having a program or app running all the time in the background of your smart phone or computer that is using up all of the available RAM space and battery power of your mind-body system. The constant self-protective, self-monitoring, and self-judging chatter of the small self is the source of the depression and anxiety so many people are experiencing, and it leaves little time, space or energy for us to live in the present moment, awake and alive to the happiness and joy life offers and to all the possibilities our Soul Self has waiting for us.

While life is ripe with moments of happiness, satisfaction, accomplishment, connection, creativity, beauty and joy, we must accept that imperfection, pain and suffering are also part of the human condition. Human life is fraught with frustration, disappointment, loss, pain and grief because we live in an ever-changing and imperfect world where we can’t control all the conditions around us or the forces that move through us. And unfortunately, the default brain of our small self is pre-wired to focus on the negative and to dwell on the difficulties. Thus, if we live only in the lower triangle small self of our human consciousness, we are promised a life of suffering that depletes our emotional reserves and exhausts our mental resources.

If it is the small self that suffers while the Soul Self holds the key to liberation from our suffering, let’s continue the process we started with in the last post to access the healing power of our spiritual operating system. Step one is to have the courage to turn and face the parts of ourselves that are holding old wounds or difficult stories or debilitating and life-deadening coping mechanisms or patterns. Step two is to have the compassion to hold and embrace those parts of ourselves with unconditional love and acceptance, without resisting, rejecting, shaming or judging ourselves for either the events that have occurred in our lives or for the choices our small selves have made to cope and survive. We must notice, name, acknowledge and accept the wounds of life that we carry in our bodies, emotions, and minds, while holding those pockets of pain inside a larger embrace of deep love, compassion and acceptance until a pause is possible, and some new space opens up. In that pause, we can recognize our constricting life patterns as coping mechanisms of the small self living inside the prison of pain created inside the consciousness of our lower triangle, and in that space, lies the opportunity to experience the life giving grace of our Soul and to find a new way forward.

Spiritual wisdom teachers throughout time have taught us that our true home is in our Soul, and that the world our small self offers is too small to hold the spiritual truth of who we really are. They invited us to see that we are bigger than our bodies, bigger than our emotions, bigger than our thoughts, bigger than our pain, bigger than our losses, and bigger than our suffering. They assured us that our true source is the more spacious, gracious and boundless energy of Spirit and that we can only live into our fullness if we are willing to surrender the small self and make the shift to our Soul. Our heart is big enough to hold and embrace our suffering and our Soul is big enough to transform our pain and to set us free through the gift and grace of Spirit. When we hold and embrace our small self with the love and compassion of our heart, we release a stream of peace, joy and grace from our Soul that surrounds our small self suffering until the pain dissolves like darkness into light. The shift to our Soul doesn’t free us from the pain and uncertainty of human life, but it frees us to love, hope and heal our way through it by the unlimited power and grace of Spirit. Here is the healing formula: Turn and Face; Hold and Embrace; Transform through Grace.

Wishing you the blessings and light of the Soul, as you create the life you imagine.




Here is a guided meditation for the week to engage the healing power of your heart center and to access the wisdom of your soul.

In your meditation practice this week, find a quiet place to center down for a few minutes. This may be in a special corner of your house, in a quiet place in nature, or in your car by the side of a river or lake. Wherever you are, gently close your eyes or center your gaze on these words, and begin by breathing in and out intentionally and mindfully from your fourth chakra heart center, allowing the energy of love and compassion to begin moving throughout your body on the breath. Imagine breathing in the calm and peace of your upper triangle Soul, and breathing out the anxiety, distress and discomfort of your lower triangle small self. Feel the energy of lovingkindness circulating and expanding throughout your heart center, slowly opening a channel at the top of your chest that flows from the top of your head through your heart, and down through your diaphragm to the bottom of your feet. Imagine that channel filling with swirling glistening light that is flowing down from the crown of your head. With each breath in, draw that light down through your head and neck, through your chest, arms and torso, into your abdomen, pelvis and legs, and moving that down and through your body until it flows down into the earth through the bottom of your feet. Continue visualizing your body filled with light, as you continue to breath in and breath out, until you notice a feeling of calm and peace beginning to flow throughout your body. Allow yourself to feel held and anchored in the love and compassion of the heart center and allow every cell, tissue, tendon, muscle and organ of your body to feel peaceful and relaxed.

Now bring your attention to your heart center and imagine your heart as a warm and welcoming room painted with colors you love and decorated and furnished to provide care and comfort. Now imagine your lower triangle small self entering your heart center and bringing with it all its pain and suffering. Imagine that this is a being you know well and love deeply. Greet this part of yourself with a gentle smile and understanding eyes, and invite the small self into your warm and welcoming heart space. Now embrace your small self with the energy of unconditional acceptance and compassion, the way you would hold a suffering child, sibling or close friend. Sit down next to your small self and hold their hands in yours. Now just listen deeply to all the ways this part of you has been trying to cope with the challenges, difficulties and imperfections of life. As you hold the suffering of your small self, allow yourself to notice the feelings of shame, guilt, blame, anger or resentment, and just keep reassuring your small self that you understand the struggle and it’s all going to be okay. Accept whatever moves through your heart with love and compassion and without any judgment or resistance. If you feel tears or sadness, let them move through. Continue holding this image and breathing through it with love until you feel the emotions of the small self quiet down and the struggling energy subside into a more peaceful feeling.

Now take three deep breaths in and out. On the first breath, bless your body and your lower triangle small self for spending time telling the truth about its pain, worries, and fears. On the second breath, bless your upper triangle Soul for its ever-present wisdom, compassion and guidance. And on the third breath, bless the Divine Source of Spirit for the gift of life and the opportunity to learn and grow through every experience of your journey. Feel the energy of these triangles connected and supporting you in all that you do. Take this energy of peace and calm with you throughout your day. As you move throughout your day you might notice others that are suffering right now and in need of your compassion and lovingkindness, and gently offer a smile of kindness, understanding eyes, and a silent prayer for their healing and well-being.



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